AIG blows all the goodwill built up by Wall Street in recent years, a mother that forgot to pay a 29-year-old's phone bill is reminded to be careful about that, and a career spider is unsure if she's ready for 3,000 kids at this point. It's the week of January 11, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion